Sunday, December 22, 2013

Your Best Bet For Getting Your Girlfriend Back

By Ann Singer


Are you frustrated with your attempts to try to get back together with your ex? Do well meaning conversations turn into battles where you are constantly trying to defend yourself? Are your words and actions taken out of context by your ex and used against you?

Do you feel like your ex is living in a totally different reality and you feel like you simply can't win? How can you straighten things out and get back to that loving relationship that you both once shared? How can you turn things around and make your ex see that you truly love them with all your heart?

Think of your ex girlfriend like a cat. If you chase after a cat, what is it going to do? The cat will run away. This is what makes herding cats so difficult! The same goes for many animals. If you chase after them, they will flee or fight. This is called the fight or flight instinct. It is a part of our own instinct also and it transcends relationships also.

Right now your ex has it in their mind that your only goal is to get back together. Any promises that you make or words that you speak are tainted by your seeming desire to posess them and get back together with them.

They made a decision and any attempt to circumvent that decision is met with resistance. The harder you try, the worse things are going to get. No matter what you say or do, your ex is going to resist you and their logic will always be tainted by that one thought. You just want to get back together.

It is only once your ex has a desire or even an inkling of a desire to spend time with you and talk with you that things will begin to change. Creating that desire is rather simple. You have a history and many happy memories that you can use as a tool to reignite that passion, desire and romance. Of course, simply throwing a bunch of picture of the two of you together in their face isn't going to get you that desire. Remember that right now your ex is only thinking that you're trying to manipulate them. This is why it is necessary to allow your ex to cool off a bit. Give them some time. Allow a short amount of time to pass and heal those open wounds.

Take advantage of this time apart and while you're waiting for time to do its healing thing, begin to create a life that will be attractive to your ex. Start doing things that you think that your ex might want to do. Even little things like going somewhere during the weekend or making some changes to your house are enough to get their interest. Start working out or studying something new.

These two steps are a good basic way to get your ex back. Allow some time to pass and create a life that your ex would be interested in being a part of. Once there is interest and the smoke has cleared from the breakup, you can gently remind your ex of all the pleasant and fun memories that you had together. There's no pushing or convincing or trickery here. This is just good, basic relationship advice that can help you to get your ex back.




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